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Improvisational Ponderings of Moderate Nefariousness

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Taking it to the streets with Locals Only: Phoenix

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Jenn B and Jenn M at the kickoff show

Last Sunday I had the pleasure of being the first guest on the first episode of a new live, local, interactive web show called Locals Only: Phoenix. Jennifer Maggiore and Jenn Burgess (“The Jenns”) host the show every Sunday at 5:00pm at a different location around town. They stream it out and take questions and input from the audience.  The did a fantastic job of keeping things rolling along with Adonis Ratio, interacting with everyone, and popping out valuable info and tidbits.

I was talking about the stuff I’m usually rambling about: Ignite Phoenix, ImprovAZ, communities, passion, and the many uses for a really thick dictionary.  They had a bottle of wine ready to go, and any show where you can imbibe while pontificating is a plus on my scorecard. It was also my first trip down to the Phoenix Public Market, which I really enjoyed and plan to visit again soon. Sadly, the first episode suffered a technical issue and wasn’t recorded.  It is now lost to the ages like some of the early Beatles TV Mirror TVs appearances, which makes one more trait I share with John Lennon, I guess. But The Jenns have promised to have me on again so I’d stop crying.

I love the fact that they’re building this whole show using just online tools, and showcasing the great people and events going on in the Valley of the Sun. So follow them on Twitter, tune in to their UStream channel on a Sunday evening, and help spread the word.

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And the iTablet shall set ye free!

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Apple iPad Tablet Concept
Image by Photo Giddy via Flickr

Tomorrow Apple may (or may not) announce the information (or not) of their newest (or imagined) tablet that may possibly not be called the iTablet.  The buzz around this is approached ridiculous, passed through it, and actually came out the other side in what’s known as a “Fanboy Wormhole”.

I am not immune. I have no idea why I would want or need this object I have yet to even see, but my expectations are high. So are those of my online compatriots, so I asked for a list of what features this iTablet would need to have to meet their expectations. Here are the device specifications, according to the Wisdom of Crowds:

Appearance

  • Breathtakingly beautiful (only viewable through sunglasses)
  • Upholstered in rich corinthian leather
  • Light as a feather (Hummingbird’s)
  • Wafer thin
  • Cupholder

Specifications

  • Supports Linux
  • 3D visual display
  • 3D audio speakers
  • 3D smellorama
  • Infinite storage capacity
  • Anti-gravity stabilizers (for use as hoverboard)
  • Time travel through TARDIS interface (only available in blue)
  • Invisibility cloak
  • Bulletproof, laserproof, waterproof, deathproof

Features

  • Comedy detector
  • Bullshit detector
  • Built in lightsaber
  • Projectable Cone of Silence (double strength in coffee shops)
  • Folds clothes
  • Prevents dry skin (possibly through lotion dispenser/web cam combo)
  • Makes breakfast burritos
  • Roasts and brews coffee (possibly through the iStarbucks app)
  • Tissue dispenser
  • Walks your dog (using hoverboard feature to return if dog gets tired)
  • Detects Dark Matter
  • Slow or stop time (see: TARDIS feature)
  • Understand user’s intention independent of actual actions
  • Generates (then detects) Higgs Bosons

Many thanks to Troy, Martha, Jodi, Robin, Tim, Tammy, Paulette, Carlos, Ron, Shari, Dave, Dustin, Roger, Alan, Mark, Jess, Evelyn, and  Byron for helping me craft this crystal clear picture.  Here’s hoping that tomorrow all of our dreams come true!

Read our lastest cheap plasma cutter review by following the link below.

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