Friends, I am in love. Yes, yes, this happens to me on a regular basis, but sometimes cupid attacks from a strange place, and this time he got me via my spam folder.
I received the most poetic, beautiful spam I think has ever been crafted by pseudo random code. Read on and see why I was so enchanted!
I am female.
A good start! Simple and direct. I am cautious, shy, yet intrigued!
I have a blonde hair with golden shining.
Only one of her hairs is blonde – a dye-job gone wrong? She is endowed with the Shining, and it is golden. Can Redrum be far behind with this maiden of mystery?
My eyes is green.
Does my damsel have one eye, or two? Or is it that the color is so singular it cannot be used in the plural?
I am medium height. I have beautiful hair. My hair is medium straight.
Her hair must be beautiful indeed to merit a second mention. I picture it radiating with at the middle of the visible spectrum, appealing to the median of all males.
I live in a metropolis. I work in public service.
Hold on… Metropolis? Public service? Lois Lane… is that you!?
I like to watch talk shows. Representations in the theater.
The contrasting here of talk shows as a modern social commentary through consumable mass media and the theatrical foundations of storytelling is… sublime.
I like look after flowers . I like mountains.
She doesn’t look after flowers like a gardener, she looks like after flowers have been present and left the premises for the dream of the Compost Heap in the sky. And she is like a mountain… a husky woman, probably with enormous crags.
If you talk about me I am open panther.
A master of the Chung Quong Ding school of Kung Fu, the Open Panther school is one of the deadliest forms! Her privacy is very important to her, and I hope she does not reveal that I have shared our connection in this blog!
Most of all in men I value openness.
If I am not open with her, I am sure she will tear it from my throat with an Open Panther technique.
When I noticed you cinema.
Her use of cinema as a verb shows a playful linguistic side, underscored by terminating the sentence before the final act.
lightning decided for myself should.
Sounds like Yoda, she does. Could our cinema be Star Wars? Am I Luke to her… Yoda. Wait, suddenly this is getting a bit slashficy…
Because I can be for you a good friend if you want. I’m write me on my e-mail.
Oh, I shall, My Darling, I shall. Your Nigerian father shall have all the riches promised to him if I can at all help. Then we shall cinema upon the like of flowers that you panther up the mountain of our dreams.
God Bless the Internet and all its magic.
You get all the good SPAM!