Once upon a Tweetdeck dreary, while I Twittered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious snurl of meme-passed lore,
While I groaned, nearly bailing, suddenly there came a failing,
As of something poorly scaling, scaling on some maxed out cores.
”Tis some n00b,’ I muttered, ‘scaling on a single core –
Only this, and nothing more.’
Thusly here I clicked to Send, when, with what became a great portend,
In there appeared a smirking whale of whose sight I’d soon abhor.
Not the least apology made he; not any helpful info gave me;
But, with mien of poor design, loaded into my screen’s d?©cor –
Loaded into the browser of Mozilla in the focus of my screen’s d?©cor –
Loaded, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this cyan mammal floating my sad patience was eroding,
By the silly and flighty decorum of the struggling birds it bore,
‘Though the image be used and stale, thou,’ I said, ‘art sure of small detail.
Ghastly smug and bloated whale flitting from thy server’s shore –
Tell me what thy pixeled name is on the Net’s Spamtonian shore!’
Quoth the Whale, ‘Nevermore.’
And the Whale, always gloating, still is loading, still is loading,
On the browser of Mozilla just above my apps galore;
And his teeth have all the gnashing of an application’s that is crashing,
And the back-lash o’er him washing throws his funding to the floor;
And my tweets from out that leviathan that is my screen’s d?©cor
Shall be loading – nevermore!
(with profound apologies to E.A.P.)
That is awesome! Thanks for sharing! Happy Halloween to you!
Marti_L from Twitter
Brilliant.
As a crow person, I always thought the raven, our slightly larger and slightly more glamorous cousin, got too much good press anyway. I can live with eternal glory for that fabulous mammal whale (of fail fame).
Caw. Caw. Caw. Caw. (That’s a four caw rating!)
What you have here is a brilliant colloquial parody that requires no apologies on your behalf, kind sir.
I am quite certain that Mr. Poe, had he not met with his sad and untimely end, would approve of the elegant manner with which you have lambasted our beloved Twitter.
I assure you that your words reflect the ample frustration shared by a multitude of that heathen whale’s victims and my sole complaint lies with its brevity.
Bravo.
Well Damn. That’s brilliant, Jeff. How long did it take you to create this?
@All – Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!
@Gia – About 20 minutes. Silly things come pretty easy to me, especially parodies. Serious blog posts, email, corporate status reports, etc… THOSE take me a while. 🙁
That is phenomenal.
Of course, due to my favorite Simpsons skit of all time, I couldn’t help but hear this recited in the voice of James Earl Jones.
What I love is that you come across a blog topic that probably only 10-15 people will get, and you blog about it anyway! That’s why you ROCK my friend.
I am the same way. To paraphrase Ivan Draco from Rocky, I blog for me! FOR ME!!