Image by See-ming Lee ??? SML via Flickr
After having an hour of productive time disappear after getting sidetracked in some Wikipedia articles, I tweeted out “It’s official – in the Seven Deadly Sins they’re replacing “Sloth” with “Dicking Around On The Internet”". It was retweeted enough I thought I’d try my hand at updating the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins for the internet age. As I am well acquainted with most forms of sin, I consider myself credentialed enough for this scholarly undertaking.
| Old Sin | New Sin | Meaning |
| Lust | Apple | A self-indulgent craving for intimacy with sleek products; a desire for gadgets of svelte, sexy design and limited capabilities, regardless of price |
| Gluttony | Followers | Accumulation of faceless followers of minuscule value; insatiable craving for more followbacks than @aplusk but knowing no number would ever be enough |
| Greed | Digg | An inordinate desire to acquire more thumbs-up than the person or content deserves, especially with respect to regular content updates of no exceptional merit; if you like this post click here |
| Sloth | Dicking Around On The Internet | Wasting of valuable, potentially productive time by randomly clicking from link to link; frequently committed on Facebook, YouTube, and Wikipedia |
| Wrath | Flamewar | To maim, mangle, spindle, or mutilate another’s actions online through hyperbole and hysteria; motivation, experience, and parentage (esp: Yo Mama) frequently called into question |
| Envy | Trolling | To secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability through posting off-topic or cynical remarks to provoke others into an emotional response; you would already know what this meant if you weren’t a retarded Nazi |
| Pride | SEO Ranking | Seeking of the first spot, on the first page, of any Googling and Binging that a user would care to undertake; often irrelevant to value of content on page; iPad, Justin Bieber, Twilight, Health Care Reform, Lady Gaga |
There’s the main Seven. I won’t do the Advanced Set of Sins yet as those are tricky to explain without graphics. If you can improve on any of my updated definitions, let me know.
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My name is Jeff Moriarty, and this is my personal blog. It has no intent beyond a place to express myself, and no warranty is expressed or implied for the content you may find within. 