And the iTablet shall set ye free!

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Apple iPad Tablet Concept

Image by Photo Giddy via Flickr

Tomorrow Apple may (or may not) announce the information (or not) of their newest (or imagined) tablet that may possibly not be called the iTablet.  The buzz around this is approached ridiculous, passed through it, and actually came out the other side in what’s known as a “Fanboy Wormhole”.

I am not immune. I have no idea why I would want or need this object I have yet to even see, but my expectations are high. So are those of my online compatriots, so I asked for a list of what features this iTablet would need to have to meet their expectations. Here are the device specifications, according to the Wisdom of Crowds:

Appearance

  • Breathtakingly beautiful (only viewable through sunglasses)
  • Upholstered in rich corinthian leather
  • Light as a feather (Hummingbird’s)
  • Wafer thin
  • Cupholder

Specifications

  • Supports Linux
  • 3D visual display
  • 3D audio speakers
  • 3D smellorama
  • Infinite storage capacity
  • Anti-gravity stabilizers (for use as hoverboard)
  • Time travel through TARDIS interface (only available in blue)
  • Invisibility cloak
  • Bulletproof, laserproof, waterproof, deathproof

Features

  • Comedy detector
  • Bullshit detector
  • Built in lightsaber
  • Projectable Cone of Silence (double strength in coffee shops)
  • Folds clothes
  • Prevents dry skin (possibly through lotion dispenser/web cam combo)
  • Makes breakfast burritos
  • Roasts and brews coffee (possibly through the iStarbucks app)
  • Tissue dispenser
  • Walks your dog (using hoverboard feature to return if dog gets tired)
  • Detects Dark Matter
  • Slow or stop time (see: TARDIS feature)
  • Understand user’s intention independent of actual actions
  • Generates (then detects) Higgs Bosons

Many thanks to Troy, Martha, Jodi, Robin, Tim, Tammy, Paulette, Carlos, Ron, Shari, Dave, Dustin, Roger, Alan, Mark, Jess, Evelyn, and  Byron for helping me craft this crystal clear picture.  Here’s hoping that tomorrow all of our dreams come true!

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Losing my faith in Community

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To what extent do participants in joint activi...

Image via Wikipedia

I started 2009 curious about community, by September I was being quoted about it in articles, but I left 2009 almost entirely convinced that “community” is a waste of time.

Not the people but the term itself. It has become a phantom banner that people wave to try and rally a cause – don’t we all care about the community?  Don’t we want to make it better?

Being in a community doesn’t inherently include a common goal or strong bond.  It most cases it is simply “a group of people with a common interest”, like a a hobby, a belief, or an idea. People who live in Phoenix may be in a community, but it’s their personal interactions that really connect them, not their geography. With everyone having a different perspective about the people and places around them, you get different forms of participation and the inevitable grumbling that there isn’t just enough community spirit/involvement/awareness. Some people want more parks, some people want more childrens’ programs, and some people just want to be left alone.

Community also doesn’t include motivation. In an artistic community, for example, some people may want to pursue technical perfection while others seek abstract expressions. It’s an amiable community until you try to set a direction for that whole group. Then people will start pushing the agenda towards their own views, and be shocked to find others pushing in a different direction. The connecting theme of the community has been exceeded.

Human nature complicates things further by assuming people who think like us in a few areas think like us in all areas. I ran into this with Ignite Phoenix when it got some wide local press. I was accused by some of betraying the community, when I was only looking to bring in new people and ideas. Attending Ignite Phoenix was the community theme, and I exceeded that limit and discovered there were a lot of wildly different opinions about what Ignite was and should be.

I’ve decided in my own local work to focus less on the “community” and more on simply doing things I’m excited about with people I respect. That will draw in people who want to participate, and save a whole lot of hopping about regarding what any group does or doesn’t want.

Community is an abstraction, and you really can’t grow, direct, or build an abstraction. “Community” is still great shorthand for a group of people, like “family”, but it isn’t an end into itself. Chase it too closely and you’ll lose the very people that make it up.  You need to focus on the people and their actions. Connect with them as individuals, not as abstractions, and realize no matter how hard you try there are some things they are just never going to do or be.

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